Confessions From the Woman at the Well

For my friends and family who identify as Christian, I want to give you my unsolicited word of advice. While the Bible clearly states that marriage is a sacrament created by God, marriage in the United States is, and has been, a legal institution. When getting a marriage license you go to a courthouse, not a church. The church has nothing to do with benefits of married couples, which include death benefits, social security benefits, health benefits, joint taxes, adoption, estate rights, hospital visits, etc. These are rights guaranteed under the law of the U.S. Constitution, therefore if any state passed laws to infringe upon people's access to these entities then it is unconstitutional, that is why the 14th Amendment was used in the victory decision. HOWEVER, make no mistake that unbelievers and those who have fallen away from the church are reading your posts about this subject. If our collective goal is to fulfill the Great Commission, I suggest we follow the example of the One we seek to emulate and face this issue with abundant, unconditional love...and a lack of condemnation. Be someone's blessing today heart emoti...and while I have your attention, I will give you this.

PS....while I have your attention, I will give you this.
This is me.
I am the woman at the well.
I am the person that pulled the trigger....over 15 times.
Amen.

Thank you to claytonjennings.com for speaking the words that are written on this 48 year old heart.

GraceHaven

I want to invite all of you to join me on my new journey.  The journey is called GraceHaven.
Please feel free to share this with your friends, family, and anyone who you think could benefit from the mission of GraceHaven.  Thank you!  As always, be Blessed. ~edh

~Welcome to GraceHaven~

A.  grace (greys),noun 1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action: We watched her skate with effortless grace across the ice. 2. mercy; clemency; pardon: He was saved by an act of grace from the governor.  3.the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.

B.  haven (hey-vuh n), noun 1. a harbor or port. 2. any place of shelter and safety; refuge; asylum. verb (used with object) 3. to shelter, as in a haven. She was given a safe haven from the storm.

Our Mission:

To create a place of safety and refuge.

To create a place of protection from the dangers and distresses of life.

To fulfill our calling to serve others and to bear each other’s burdens.

To offer kindness.

To offer education and encouragement.

To display unconditional and non judgmental love.

To create real-world, real-time interaction with others in a spiritual counseling and/or life coaching setting in order to help those in a time of need walk through difficulty and darkness until they are capable of discovering their own spiritual strength and their own unique connection with God.

To foster the proliferation of Love, in all of it’s forms.

To stand in opposition to Hate, in all of it’s forms.

Lastly, to facilitate others in finding peace and self-appreciation that can only come through the acceptance of Grace; the unmerited favor of God which is not bound by any man made religion or denomination.

Providing public education as well as trained counseling and support to the religiously wounded and those seeking to emerge from abusive relationships.

Twitter: @GraceHavenCouns

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GraceHavenCounseling

email: gracehavencounseling@gmail.com

Caitlyn and Grace

I realize that I'm going to ruffle feathers, poke the bear, be labeled a "sh*$ stirrer" with this post.  Heck, I will probably loose some Facebook "friends" and followers over this one.  But what has become overwhelmingly clear over the last several years is that God did not put me here to nod politely, and be demure, and keep my thoughts to myself.  I tried to.  I really did.  For the first 35+ years.  I was encouraged to...strongly.  My mother's backhand to my face became my significant other's slap across my mouth or fist to my eye (or worse) when I would speak up or question or disagree.  As I recently said to one of my closest friends, "I have the RIGHT to remain silent, but I simply no longer have the ABILITY".  Nope.  I'm convinced before Baby Eliska was born, God whispered into my ear, "Lisk, I need you to go down there and, when you grown up, I need you to use that big voice of yours.  I need you to be loud...challenge people's beliefs.....challenge what they believe about ME.  Shake things up a bit.  Your going to make them really uncomfortable.  You are going to make more enemies than true friends, but that's ok. I've got your back.  I love you and I will never leave you."

So here it goes.

This all has been brewing inside of me for a while.  I don't know exactly when it began, but it was sometime earlier this year when the whole wedding cake/pizza/religious freedom debacle in Indianapolis began (which, by the way, was NOT about wedding cake, pizza, OR religious freedom). Then I found out that two dear friends of mine, a lovely married couple, who just suffered the devastation of their son being stillborn last year, were asked to leave a church because they chose to support one of their other children who, as a young adult, made the decision to live life as a gender he was not assigned at birth.     

THEY WERE ASKED TO LEAVE A CHURCH.  

If you are a Christian I ask that you sit with that for a minute. If the house of God is not a place you can be to deal with these kinds of issues, where are you suppose to go??

Then, about 24 hours ago, the whole Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner thing turned the internet on it's ear and I foolishly read many of the comments that were being made by friends and family and Christians I respect.  As a very "live out loud" Christian, I realized that by staying silent on this issue many people could assume that I feel like other Christians who have taken to the airwaves and internet to share their unsolicited opinion. 

It's important to note at this point that one of my favorite quotes, one that has influenced my life greatly, is this one from Edmund Burke: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing".  This is, in part, why I feel the need to throw my unsolicited opinion about this into the overcrowded ring today.  It's not that I'm "right" or "good" and anyone who believes differently than I do is "evil", but what grinds my gears about all of this is the people who are proliferating half truths to make their point.  They are not trying to educate others with balanced information and allowing people to come to their own conclusion about these issues.  And what really pisses me off is when people use Scripture, usually chopped up and taken completely out of context, to make their point.  When did being "right" trump educating people and trusting that the Holy Spirit would convict that person as He sees fit??

In an effort to bring education and understanding,  I proceed.

Most Christian’s arguments against transgender are rooted in Genesis 5:2: “[God] created them male and female.”  As a clinician, I want you to know that you need to understand that there are medical conditions: Gender Dysphoria, Klinefelter syndrome (two or more X chromosome in males), and Intersex people (those persons who have physical and genetic variations that do not allow them to be strictly designated as either male or female) as well as a host of others that could be at play here.  Am is saying "God made a mistake" when He made these people?   NO!  And neither should you!  We live in a fallen world (that bit is at the beginning of The Book) and if you are going to continue to be armchair theologians, you need to figure out where these other real medical issues fit in to your theology: 

"According to research conducted by Anne Fausto-Sterling of Brown University, one in 100 children are born with “bodies that differ from standard male or female” biology. This includes those children born with both a penis and a vagina, as well as those with vaginal agenesis, ovatestes, or genetic disorders such as Klinefelter syndrome. Apparently, God sometimes creates humans both male and female or neither fully male nor fully female. Intersex persons offer a critique of those who believe that gender is a static binary assigned from birth and divinely ordained. For example, what about a person who is a sexually “mosaic,” which means they have mixed gonadal dysgenesis such as the development of both ovaries and testes? It’s hard to say because Christian commentators almost never acknowledge the existence of these individuals." (from "Transgender Issues are More Complicated than Some Christians Portray")
http://jonathanmerritt.religionnews.com/2013/08/19/transgender-issues-more-complicated-than-some-christians-portray/"

1 in 100 children.  That makes for a LOT of potential people reading your social media posts and/or sitting in the pews of your church waiting to see how YOU respond to Caitlyn Jenner.

Would they be welcome at your church?  Do we treat people who are different, people who's issues we don't understand, like modern day lepers?  What happened to the idea of Christians being "salt and light" in this world?  By the way, salt was used in biblical times, as it is now: a flavor enhancer. In the same way that salt enhances the flavor of the food it seasons, the followers of Christ stand out as those who “enhance” the flavor of life in this world. Christians, living under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in obedience to Christ, will inevitably influence the world for good, as salt has a positive influence on the flavor of the food it seasons. Where there is strife, we are to be peacemakers; where there is sorrow, we are to be the ministers of Christ, binding up wounds, and where there is hatred, we are to exemplify the love of God in Christ, returning good for evil (Luke 6:35).

RETURNING GOOD FOR EVIL.

So lets break this down:  If you like it, love it.  If you don't want to love it, love it.  If it hurt you, love it.  If you don't understand it, love it.  If it's your enemy, love it.  If you love it, love it some more.  

Where is the Love my brothers and sisters?  Some of you are so wrapped up in fearing "tolerance" and a watering down of God's Word that you have literally rendered yourself completely ineffective at the most important job He gave us: to LOVE (See below).  You are trying to do work that is above your pay grade.  It is not your job to judge or convict or be the critic.  His light, His LOVE shining through us is suppose to draw others to Him.  I love this quote from Billy Graham, “It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love.”

How close do you think the lost will get to God's Word and the Holy Spirit if they are feeling judged by you?

In the end, my unsolicited opinion is worthless.  So I will take a little of my own advice and leave you with God's Word and ask that you read it and sit with it and question how you can walk out The Most Important Commandment.  Be Blessed.

Luke 10:25-37New Living Translation (NLT)

The Most Important Commandment

25 One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: “Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?”

26 Jesus replied, “What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?”

27 The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”[a]

28 “Right!” Jesus told him. “Do this and you will live!”

29 The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Parable of the Good Samaritan

30 Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.

31 “By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant[b] walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

33 “Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins,[c] telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’

36 “Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.

37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.”

Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

THRIVE

My final project for my Psychology class.  Very happy with how this turned out and pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me to work on.  I still stand in awestruck wonder at all God has done in my life in a just few short years.  He is Amazing.

Click here: THRIVE

After A While You Learn

It has been so long since I have posted and my only excuse is that, like the beloved fish Dory in the movie "Finding Nemo" I have been trying my best to "just keep swimming". It has been a time of enormous heartache and trials, great blessings and love...but when I saw this post today it seemed to sum up very concisely the hard truths life, and God, seem to want me to know...and not ever forget.

And I wanted to share these truths with you.

Until soon...I promise. Be Blessed.

After a while you learn...by Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971)

After some time you learn the difference, The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning, And company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, And presents aren't promises. And you begin to accept your defeats, With your head up and your eyes ahead, With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today, Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn, That even the sun burns if you get too much, And learn that it doesn't matter how much you do care about, Some people simply don't care at all. And you accept that it doesn't matter how good a person is, She will hurt you once in a while, And you need to forgive her for that. You learn that talking can relieve emotional pain. You discover that it takes several years to build a relationship based on confidence, And just a few seconds to destroy it. And that you can do something just in an instant, And which you will regret for the rest of your life. You learn that the true friendships, Continue to grow even from miles away. And that what matters isn't what you have in your life, But who you have in your life. And that good friends are the family,Which allows us to choose.You learn that we don't have to switch our friends, If we understand that friends can also change. You realize that you are your best friend,And that you can do do anything, or nothing, And have good moments together. You discover that the people who you most care about in your life, Are taken from you so quickly, So we must always leave the people who we care about with lovely words, It may be the last time we see them. You learn that the circunstances and the enviroment have influence upon us, But we are responsible for ourselves. You start to learn that you should not compare yourself with others, But with the best you can be. You discover that it takes a long time to become the person you wish to be, And that the time is short. You learn that it doesn't matter where you have reached, But where you are going to. But if you don't know where you are going to, Anywhere will do. You learn that either you control your acts, Or they shall control you. And that to be flexible doesn't mean to be weak or not to have personality, Because it doesn't matter how delicate and fragile the situation is, There are always two sides. You learn that heroes are those who did what was necessary to be done, Facing the consequences. You learn that patience demands a lot of practice. You discover that sometimes, The person who you most expect to be kicked by when you fall, Is one of the few who will help you to stand up.You learn that maturity has more to do with the kinds of experiences you had And what you have learned from them, Than how many birthdays you have celebrated.You learn that there are more from you parents inside you than you thought. You learn that we shall never tell a child that dreams are silly, Very few things are so humiliating, And it would be a tragedy if she belived in it. You learn that when you are angry, You have the right to be angry, But this doesn't give you the right to be cruel. You discover that only because someone doesn't love you the way you would like her to,It doesn't mean that this person doesn't love you the most she can, Beacuse there are people who love us, But just don't know how to show or live that. You learn that sometimes it isn't enough being forgiven by someone, Sometimes you have to learn how to forgive yourself. You learn that with the same harshness you judge, Some day you will be condemned. You learn that it doesn't matter in how many pieces your heart has been broken,The world doesn't stop for you to fix it. You learn that time isn't something you can turn back, Therefore you must plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure. You really are strong .And you can go so farther than you thougt you could go. And that life really has a value. And you have value within the life. And that our gifts are betrayers, And make us lose The good we could conquer, If it wasn't for the fear of trying.

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes

Today marks one year since my best friend, Loray Robinson suddenly and unexpectedly passed from this life. In some ways it feels like it just happened. In other ways, it feels like it's been decades since I heard her laughter. My heart is still just as broken as it was on that bright sunny morning last year. I would like to take the opportunity on this day to share with you the words I spoke at her funeral. If you knew Loray please take a moment today to honor her memory by showing someone an extra measure of kindness--be it a warm smile, encouragement, a cheerful salutation, or taking the time to thank someone for a job well done. Also, call your best friend...don't put it off. I was suppose to call Loray at 3pm the day she died. I never got the opportunity to make that call.

When I spoke with Loray’s sister Shirley Saturday night and she asked me if I would like to speak at this service today I immediately said yes, but when I hung up the phone I was absolutely panic stricken that, for the first time in almost 25 years, I wouldn’t be able to find the right words to say ...because I now know there truly is a grief that can not be spoken.

I met Loray in 1987 when I had just turned 21 years old. I was a single mom in the middle of a divorce and I pretty much had the words “trauma and drama” written all over me, but Ray chose to look past all of that. She saw my worth as a person and took me under her wing. That’s what she did with everyone she came in contact with. My relationship with Loray, while so dear and precious to me, was not unique. If you were blessed enough to be her friend, her family, her coworker, her listener...then you were adored by her. We were all in her “family” and there was simply nothing she would not do for us. Her love was sacrificial.

I owe so much to her. She encouraged my radio career which she started in 1988 and I went on to be an announcer from coast to coast for nearly 20 years. She gave me my wings so I could fly and I took her with me wherever I went. I guess it’s only fair that she took part of me with her to her new Heavenly home Tuesday morning.

So I called her cell phone the day after she passed...just so I could hear her voice on her voicemail message. The really strange thing is I left her a message. "Ray it's me. If you're picking up your messages in Heaven, I want you to know that I love you, and I miss you...really bad Ray Ray....really bad..." What I also should've said (with my cracking voice and through the non stop tears) is that I hope she is seeing what is going on here in the town she loved, by all of the people she loved. I want her to see her impact...and I am sure she is somewhere all wide eyed saying "I had no idea!" because she never completely knew her value...that is actually part of what made her so special. Loray Christine has left us a legacy....a legacy of love and laughter. May we rise to her example and cause more laughter than we do tears, and treat everyone we meet like they are the most important person in the world, like she did. Loray had pain and heartbreak in her life at times...but just because she had pain she knew she didn't have to be a pain.

Loray lived a life that will transcend all restrictions of space and time...life and death. My life is infinitely better because I knew Loray Robinson. She was a game changer. I am forever changed and forever thankful.

I hope you, her friends and family, will join me in rising to the challenge of spreading her legacy...a legacy of pure love, light, and laughter.

I love you Loray. “Do take care my friend”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One thing I know Ray Ray is I will never be Over You. I miss you. I love you. Watch Miranda Lambert's beautiful yet haunting video for "Over You" (my song for Loray) here.

 

Little Girl Lost

The following poem was written by my young friend Katie.  Katie has been, and continues to be, sexually, physically, and emotionally abused by people in her life who are suppose to protect her.  Will you please join me in praying for Katie and the thousands just like her who are wondering how they are going to make it though this day.

I love you Katie Girl and God loves you more.
xoxox


Cant be more broken whats left to destroy
because eveytime i end up someones toy

As much as i try to help others be set free
my regrets, abuse, and family all still torture me

I'm lost in this world and nowhere to be found
but at least i have jesus when im feeling down

I have learned to fight off the pain i have lived
and because of god and people that love me i can forgive

I realize now what i am worth
and all the things i can do to help fix this earth

I'm only 15 but im as strong as i can be
im no longer the victim i am set free

Thank you to those who help me get though
please know i love and care for you 

Leap

With all of the buzz on the social media sites about today being February 29th, I started thinking about the word "Leap" and why "Leap Year" is just that, instead of, say, "Jump Year".  The official definition for Leap (used as a verb) is "to jump or spring a long way, to a great height, or with great force".  When compared to the definition for Jump- "to push oneself off a surface and into the air by using the muscles in one's legs and feet"- to Leap is clearly more powerful and impressive.  Jumping, by definition, is restricted to the power and ability of the "muscles in one's legs and feet".  To me, it sounds as if "Leaping" is like "Jumping" to the 10th power...almost like there is something supernatural or extraterrestrial about ones potential ability to Leap. 

You might be wondering right about now why this could possibly be important.  After all, isn't this merely semantics?  Well yes...and no.  I am at a stage in my life where just Jumping is not serving me as well as it use to.  In fact, it's not serving me at all.  My back story goes like this: I was a professional ice skater for over 12 years.  I taught many areas of skating on ice (beginner classes, power skating, etc.) but I really loved teaching figure skating.  More specifically, Freestyle.  Freestyle is what you see when you watch figure skating on TV or in ice shows.  It is skating set to music and features great costumes, fast spins and footwork, and breathtaking Jumps...not Leaps...Jumps.  Jumps that are completely created by a skater taking technique he or she has learned over the course of many, many years and combining that with pushing "oneself off a surface and into the air by using the muscles in one's legs and feet".  Add a couple of rotations mid air before your blade returns to the ice and you've got something that a pretty small percent of the world's population can do.  For a fraction of a second you win over the strict laws of gravity.  For a second, you fly.

I do not Jump anymore.  Not long ago I was diagnosed with an illness that compromises my ability to skate much, let alone do the Jumps I pursued for myself so diligently for years and years.  I fear the Jumping years are over for me, but what about the Leaping years?  The beautiful thing about Leaping is that, according to the definition, the ability to Leap doesn't appear to just come from "the muscles in ones legs and feet".  As I stated before, Leaping appears to have some supernatural force that causes one "to jump or spring a long way, to a great height, or with great force".  Coolness.  This is something I can work with.  So what is my catalyst?  My supernatural force that will carry me a long way, to a great height, with a great force?  That would be my Jesus.  While I have watched the demise of many dreams and plans over the last few years, most notably being a skater and coach, God has helped me Leap past the restrictions of illness and circumstance.  He has carried me a long way to a great height.  With Him, I have Leaped far into a life that I couldn't never imagined for myself.  A life of being a student at a prestigious university, soon to be a published writer, an advocate and speaker for victims of rape and domestic violence, an artist, and a worker for an international non profit who's goal is to fight all forms of violence against women, worldwide.  Oh, it hasn't been an easy Leap.  I can't say it even happened in one Leap.  However, it truly was His power and "great force" that carried me through and continues to carry me onto each next Leap.  

I have to ask myself every day, "Are you content with Jumping today Lisk?  Or do you want to take a Leap?"  I remember how frightening it was to learn a new Jump in skating.  Life Leaps are even more scary.  But when I choose to Leap I allow God to catch me and carry me as far as he sees fit.  Much farther than I could with my own very finite power and strength.

I have some big Leaping to do in the next 3 months.  I would ask you if you would, please pray for me.  Pray that I don't let my fear limit what God wants to do in my life.  Pray that this is my Leap Year.


 

Just Because

Not because of what You can do for me
Like a Genie or Santa or the Easter Bunny
Not because of the comfort You bring
The purpose You give to my every day
The gift of Your peace
The fear you take or the hope You represent
Or the future You promise
Or the unconditional love You embody

Not because of the healing You do
Or just because You are the lamb who was slain
Or the wisdom You impart
The shame You remove
Or the never ending grace and mercy You show
The beauty of Your Creation-from the mountains and seas
To my babies eyes and toes

Not because You provide my every need
Or because You call me "Beloved"
Or the fact that I am Your princess and You are my Abba, Father
Or that You will never leave me
Never
Or because You are perfect and Holy, The King of Kings
And that one day every knee will bow and ever tongue will proclaim Your Greatness
I choose not to wait for that day

While these are all pieces of Your majesty
And some of Your many gifts to me
I love you...Just Because
You are You
And You love me...Just Because
I am me
And that is more than enough...forever.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
(Psalm 46:10)

Beth Moore: The Hair Brush

This is by far my single favorite Beth Moore story told in her typical, hilarious style! It highlights her beautiful obedience after struggling with God and the reward that is received when we say "Yes Lord".

If grace is an ocean we're all sinking

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.


And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, 
When I think about, the way…



He loves us


See David Crowder on K LOVE- "How He Loves" by clicking *HERE*