Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Looking for His Hands and Feet

Hi Everyone!

I have always said that God has blessed me with the most amazing, diverse, and talented group of people for friends. You are spread over 3 continents and have been my adoptive family, my prayer warriors, my true supporters in life, and that is why I am coming to you now.  As many of you know, in January, I am set to finally begin my last full semester at Liberty University Online. I am scheduled to take 18 credit hours. In June I will begin my last 8 week class and do my Internship (125 hours in a clinical setting) and then write my final paper. Upon completion, I will have my degree in Psychology/Christian Counseling with a concentration in Crisis & Trauma Counseling. This area of work is one I have felt called to for over 10 years. I know I can make a difference in the lives of people who are hurting.

This is where I really need your help. Due to my struggles with Multiple Sclerosis and other Autoimmune diseases, which included me having to completely pull out of school two years ago when I was hospitalized for septic pneumonia and pleurisy, I have exhausted my grant and student loan money. I will receive help with my tuition and some of my books and materials for the my final Spring/Summer 2015 classes. What I will need assistance with is the books/materials my grants/loans will not cover, the bulk of my cost of living expenses from January-July 2015 while I complete my degree. Any other monies that come in over my set goal will be used to cover expenses for me to train for and compete in the US Adult Figure Skating Eastern Sectionals in Pittsburgh, PA in March 2014, and the US Adult National Figure Skating Championships in Salt Lake City, UT in April 2014. This is a dream I have had since before I was diagnosed with MS in 2009. I was told I would never skate again due to my illness, but God had other plans. I got back on the ice two years ago and have not looked back. 

I will continue to teach skating part time, but the rink here in Morgantown closes at the end of March and, now that I am on my own, I am looking to move to a town with at least one year round facility so I can continue to train myself and train other skaters while working toward graduation.

I would like to thank each and every one of you for considering to help me reach the goals I have set for 2015 in one of two ways: (1) a monetary donation of any amount (truly, no amount is too small and will be cherished) and/or (2) praying for me, my health, and for this GoFundMe campaign so that I can reach my goals and live my dreams in 2015. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for considering this, sharing it with your friends and family via social media (people do not have to know me directly to donate or pray). In return, I promise you I will do my very best to be a light in this dark world and a helper to the hurting.

Again, thank you. Blessings to each of you and to all whom you love.


Just click the link below and it will take you directly to my GoFundMe page.  You can donate anonymously if you prefer:


~Thank you for the blessing and for being His hands and feet in my life. I love you. ~

Thursday, July 17, 2014


If you want to know what truly scares you
Just identify the thing you
Can not
Under any circumstances
Imagine yourself living

For me
That would be

No pressure.

Somewhere you know that
I know
That your self deprecating humor
Is just a facade because you
Are just as scared
As I am
And somewhere
Deep inside
You know that fact is the
Exact same reason
Why I love

This is the
Of time.

Is the stuff
Dreams and
Are made of.

I always prayed
For real
Above false
But I nothing under
God's Heaven
Prepared me for

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

After A While You Learn

It has been so long since I have posted and my only excuse is that, like the beloved fish Dory in the movie "Finding Nemo" I have been trying my best to "just keep swimming". It has been a time of enormous heartache and trials, great blessings and love...but when I saw this post today it seemed to sum up very concisely the hard truths life, and God, seem to want me to know...and not ever forget.

And I wanted to share these truths with you.

Until soon...I promise. Be Blessed.

After a while you learn...by Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971)

After some time you learn the difference, The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning, And company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, And presents aren't promises. And you begin to accept your defeats, With your head up and your eyes ahead, With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today, Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans, And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn, That even the sun burns if you get too much, And learn that it doesn't matter how much you do care about, Some people simply don't care at all. And you accept that it doesn't matter how good a person is, She will hurt you once in a while, And you need to forgive her for that. You learn that talking can relieve emotional pain. You discover that it takes several years to build a relationship based on confidence, And just a few seconds to destroy it. And that you can do something just in an instant, And which you will regret for the rest of your life. You learn that the true friendships, Continue to grow even from miles away. And that what matters isn't what you have in your life, But who you have in your life. And that good friends are the family,Which allows us to choose.You learn that we don't have to switch our friends, If we understand that friends can also change. You realize that you are your best friend,And that you can do do anything, or nothing, And have good moments together. You discover that the people who you most care about in your life, Are taken from you so quickly, So we must always leave the people who we care about with lovely words, It may be the last time we see them. You learn that the circunstances and the enviroment have influence upon us, But we are responsible for ourselves. You start to learn that you should not compare yourself with others, But with the best you can be. You discover that it takes a long time to become the person you wish to be, And that the time is short. You learn that it doesn't matter where you have reached, But where you are going to. But if you don't know where you are going to, Anywhere will do. You learn that either you control your acts, Or they shall control you. And that to be flexible doesn't mean to be weak or not to have personality, Because it doesn't matter how delicate and fragile the situation is, There are always two sides. You learn that heroes are those who did what was necessary to be done, Facing the consequences. You learn that patience demands a lot of practice. You discover that sometimes, The person who you most expect to be kicked by when you fall, Is one of the few who will help you to stand up.You learn that maturity has more to do with the kinds of experiences you had And what you have learned from them, Than how many birthdays you have celebrated.You learn that there are more from you parents inside you than you thought. You learn that we shall never tell a child that dreams are silly, Very few things are so humiliating, And it would be a tragedy if she belived in it. You learn that when you are angry, You have the right to be angry, But this doesn't give you the right to be cruel. You discover that only because someone doesn't love you the way you would like her to,It doesn't mean that this person doesn't love you the most she can, Beacuse there are people who love us, But just don't know how to show or live that. You learn that sometimes it isn't enough being forgiven by someone, Sometimes you have to learn how to forgive yourself. You learn that with the same harshness you judge, Some day you will be condemned. You learn that it doesn't matter in how many pieces your heart has been broken,The world doesn't stop for you to fix it. You learn that time isn't something you can turn back, Therefore you must plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure. You really are strong .And you can go so farther than you thougt you could go. And that life really has a value. And you have value within the life. And that our gifts are betrayers, And make us lose The good we could conquer, If it wasn't for the fear of trying.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Vomit and Snow

After our first hefty snowfall of the season it seemed like a good time to post a  reprise of my New Year's blog from 2008. Be blessed.

So it was snowing...which is pretty typical for January in Morgantown, WV. I'm not a huge fan of snow unless I'm skiing on it, however I have to admit the little flurries were kinda pretty dancing in my headlights as I drove home from my friends house that night. Talia said "Momma, I'm going to pray that we have a snow day tomorrow so we can have another day off from school!". I gently told her that while God was a big God, that it wasn't going to snow that much and that she had plenty of time off from school for Christmas break and that she should get ready for bed. At 2:00am she woke me-feverish and vomiting. She hadn't been able to make it to the bathroom, so there was quite a mess. I remember feeling worried, frustrated and ALONE. "Why God? Why am I alone to face these sorts of things? It's 2:00 in the morning, Talia is so sick and I don't have anyone who can help."

I went back to my room and sent a short text to my boss and assistant to let them know what was going on and that I wouldn't be able to be at work the next morning. I figured they would get the messages in a few hours when they woke, but within a few seconds Corey, my assistant, text me back saying he would open the Spa for me. I thought "Whew! Well at least I don't have to worry about THAT!" I rolled over, without thanking God for taking care of my work situation, and went to sleep.

Talia slept through the night. I got up that next morning to check on her and glanced out the window. Much to my shock there was at least 8 inches of snow on the ground. I thought "Oh great...this is the last thing I need. What if I have to drive her to the doctor?"

After checking on Talia (who was feeling less feverish) I came into the computer room to check my e-mails and begin my day. As I sat here I started to hear someone shoveling snow. The sound grew closer until I realized it was right below my window. Just at that moment, it hit me. I am not alone...ever. God is right there ALWAYS. He's not just there when I am praying or when I am thinking about Him...but He is there on His hands and knees with me cleaning up vomit. He is shoveling the snow. 

I went downstairs and opened the door to thank this elderly man who was cleaning snow off of my sidewalk and car. He said, "My son lives here and says you're a single mom. I just wanted to help." I talked with him a bit, thanked him again and wished him a Happy New Year. The tears started rolling down my cheeks before I got the door closed. Because of my nature to scream "What about ME!" when things are rough, I nearly missed the presence of God.

May you see Him...His presence, His leading, His love in those "small" moments. God doesn't always show us His love and awesome power in parting a sea or flooding the earth. Sometimes He just uses some vomit and snow.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, there was no school in Monogalia County that next day.

Here is a wonderful blog post written by my brother in Christ of 20 years, Robert Mauti. We are also both figure skaters and have coached...