I wasn't sure I would ever post this for public consumption. I wrote it while dawn was breaking one morning last week and I sent it to the muse that inspired it. I am sharing with you because it is me...at my most Naked...and it is the way I am feeling tonight.
You never forget the exact moment you are aware you are naked.
Absence of the image, bare of the armor.
The moment when time stops.
The moment you hand over your heart.
Other people and sounds quickly disappear,
And you are blissfully transported to another reality...
Your face--your eyes especially--became the center of my awareness,
The center of my universe
It was in that moment I stopped fleeing...fearing... fighting
And for the first time in forever,
What a wretched, horrible thing it is.
Vulnerability, with its sickly, weak sensation
Gently caresses the base of my throat
And then begins to squeeze.
I feel my strength, and my resolve
Leave quickly and completely.
The moment I heard my first fairy tale as a child
I began looking for you.
It was a long and painful journey
The walls grew high
The heart grew cold from defeat
Instead of you
I found safety.
Being vulnerable is saying "I love you" first
And not hearing it echoed back.
Being naked is being aware that you stand alone
Realizing that the unknown is an ocean.
You're in the middle of it and suddenly remember
You never really learned how to swim.
What I wouldn't give
To return to that first night.
A night sky filled with countless stars,
A future of endless possibilities.
The way you kept looking at me
As if you couldn't convince your eyes to look away.
You told me,
"The broken heart is the one that is still beating"
I would add,
"Real hearts break and bleed,
That's how you know they are real."