To Thrive is Elegant

I've spent so much time waiting to be loved...hoping love would find me...chasing it around like a autumn leaf on a breezy day.  Getting just close enough to reach...out...and...grab...it......and... then the wind picks it up and carries it far from my grasp. Often, to an unreachable place.  In the game of love, I have been my own undoing.  I have been my most formidable opponent.  Why?  Because somewhere, deep down in the dark parts of my soul I now know that for many years, decades actually, I believed that there was something uniquely wrong with me.  Please pay attention to that word "uniquely".  From a pretty young age we learn that everyone makes mistakes, breaks the rules, gets in trouble for this or that, but when a child feel that it is not their ACTIONS but it is THEM who is "bad", a life of heartache lies ahead.  I could go into all the clinical psychobabble about how and why this happens, but I don't think that is really that important to me...right now...45+ years down the road.  I think the time for looking back is now over.  Statistically speaking, I'm over halfway through my time on earth and that's only if I live out my expected life span.  Nope, it's time to look ahead, and in doing so I want to make sure the next half (give or take) of my life is a whole lotta different.  Most of you that know me know that Maya Angelou has been one of the single greatest influences on my recent life and Maya says "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."  Well, alrighty then Maya.  Let's roll.


I've noticed that many big important life changing moments come along with taking some kind of oath or vow...or at the very least a spit handshake when you promise someone to be best friends forever (or at least through 6th grade).  As adults we take wedding vows, religious vows, pledges of allegiance, oaths of office like the President of the US which, by the way, is sworn in with one hand on the Holy Bible so what's this crap about having a "Holiday" tree instead of a Christmas Tree at the flippin' White House??  Sorry, I couldn't help myself. 


Ok, so back to the idea that many times when we embark on a life change we "seal the deal" with a vow, oath, promise, etc.  I have decided to come up with my own pledge of sorts.  It is built on many quotes from my dear Maya Angelou as well as all of the experiences (both good and bad) and all of the people (both good and bad) that have influenced and changed and built up and torn down and basically rebirthed the person typing away on this cold winter night, as one dog keeps my feet warm and the other makes for a handy elbow rest...

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ~Maya Angelou

My Pledge to Thrive With Elegance 

I pledge to remember I am a beautiful Creation and I deserve to be treated as such always and in all ways. “While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.” ~MA  I will stop myself from saying "No I'm not!" when someone says I look pretty, I am smart, etc.  I will accept their compliments and kind words graciously and wrap them around me for protection and warmth when the world grows cold as it surely and often does. I will refuse to carry guilt or burdens that are placed upon me for the sole purpose to control or constrict me.  I am God's Girl, and I am a Princess, so no matter what others say in all their anger and brokenness and rage, it is not mine to keep.  It is not mine to carry, and I wont.

I will forgive myself for my past mistakes and I will not look back with sadness and regret.  I made more poor choices than I did good ones, but my past does not define me.  Each day I am different than I was the day or week or year or decade before.  I still have much to learn.  I will not allow people in my life that continue to live in the past and refuse to move forward.  I did the best I could until I knew better, now I can do better.  Forgiveness  doesn't mean forgetting, and it doesn't mean you weren't hurt, but it changes the way you remember so you, and I, can be free.

I  refuse to give up on my dreams.  I have finally grown up, but I will not grow old.  If I want to travel to distant lands or join the circus or get a tattoo (or 5) or have pink hair and wear bright red lipstick with outrageous shoes, I will.  I will not wear "mom jeans" and matching floral tops to make you or anyone else feel more comfortable.  I will not be boxed in by others expectations.  I will live life and I will do it with passion, humor and style.  This is my adventure.  This is my one shot.  There will never be another me.  

I will not wait for a man to buy me a lovely ring, or chocolates, or flowers.  I deserve these things and I can, and will, buy them for myself as I am able.  I will heed Proverbs 4:23 which states "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."  I am complete.  I am enough.  I don't have to be anything I am not or anything that God isn't making me to be.


And I will leave the final part of my pledge to my dearest Maya.  For her words reflect my heart with such great accuracy, I could scarcely do any better:

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

Step up.  Be extraordinary.