Forever and 1/2 A Day...

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I am a survivor of both rape and domestic violence. I wanted to share with you a piece of prose from some writings I hope to read at a Loud Voices event locally this month. Please...if you or anyone you know is in any kind of dating or domestic abuse situation call your local authorities and get out!! It will always, always get worse. May God bless you and keep you.



Forever and 1/2 a day

...that's what you would always say
As you got ice for my swollen face, through letters, over phone lines
Collect calls from jail
"I NEED BAIL!"

"But I will love you Liskee-for forever and 1/2 a day....this is ALL YOUR FAULT anyway!!"

However,
I can still taste the blood
And feel the jagged edges of my broken teeth
As my tongue darted across them
In fear and disbelief

Maybe I am all the things you say I am
Pathetic, Stupid, Ugly
But what about her?
She's not yet 2...just a baby...so perfect
What did she do
To deserve to live in this Hell
That burns hotter with each passing moment
This Hell that knows no end
This Hell that will last "forever and 1/2 a day"

I ran barefoot down that gravel road
On that cold February night
Only the light of the moon lit my path
Gripping her tight to my chest I prayed
"God!! Please rescue us!"
My answer came as you grabbed my long hair
Snatching me backward off my feet and path
I watched her fall in the dirt
As.  If.  It.  Took.  Hours.
With a growl dripped in Bacardi and hate
You swore "Do that again and I will kill you both"

But I will love you Liskee, forever and 1/2 a day
I will just never let you get away
Ever.
I haunt you to this very day
Go ahead and sleep with the light on every night
You silly cow
I occupy not your room, but your mind
You can't run from me now

I kept my promise Liskee
I didn't lie this time Liskee
Wherever you go, I will be there Liskee
Forever and 1/2 a day.